(Day Two) To tell the truth, or not to tell the truth, someone help!!!

Again, today (even though it is only day two…) is a suck ass day. I’m writing this… and it’s only 11: 30 in the morning! How foul.

Last night, my mother went back into my files on the internet and deleted everything. School work, homework, stories, poems, fan fictions, just random stuff that I have saved. Including pictures, and stuff I can’t get back. She went right into my lap top and deleted everything.

That makes me want to cry.

What makes me really want to cry is the fact that I just realized my brother hates me. I always thought he was joking around, when he wanted to make my life miserable. (Stuff only brothers could do, right?) Well… it turns out he wasn’t joking. He was serious. Which just makes me feel like I can take my heart and rip it into little pieces.

Not only that, but I began talking to people about how messed up my family is. It’s not like I lied about it; but apparently telling that my entire family has mental disorders is a bad thing, according to my mom. That’s why she currently won’t talk to me as of right now, since I said it on the internet.

Did I go about it the wrong way? I was told to discus the problems that I have involving my life. And I trust these people. What was I suppose to do? This stuff bothers me! Did I go about it the wrong way? Should I not have said anything, even though I was told to talk about the things that were bothering me? What the hell?

How am I supposed to talk about these things, and when I do, I get into trouble?

This is exactly the reason why I don’t talk to people. Ever. I don’t even talk to my psychologist about how I feel!

How the hell am I suppose to, when I get yelled at in the first place?!? That’s like telling me to have a cookie, and then hitting me when I take a cookie. What do I do? Close up for the rest of my life, and not talk to anybody? Because that’s exactly what my Mom seems to want me to do.

And then she complains when I don’t talk to her.

And it’s not like, I can’t share my thoughts on the internet. Trust me, I would. But I have no friends outside of the internet, to confide in. I mean, none. None at all. And again, that is my mother’s fault. She doesn’t want me to have friends. So what am I supposed to do!?!

Please somebody comment and tell me! I’m seriously confused.

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Story time:
One day Nasreddin Hodja went to market, taking his son with him. There he bought a donkey, and on the way home he let his son ride while he himself walked alongside on foot.

After they had gone some distance they came upon some people who began talking about the pair. "The world is getting crazier and crazier," they said. "That lout of a son is sitting there at ease on the donkey, making his old father walk alongside dripping with sweat."

Nasreddin Hodja heard this comment and had his son climb down, and he himself took a seat on the donkey's back. "Now the people will be satisfied," he murmured.

Soon they came upon another group who likewise were expressing their thoughts about Nasreddin and his donkey, and indeed, loudly enough that the Hodja could hear them. "Have you ever seen anything like that? That must be an unnatural father who makes his poor boy run on foot while he himself rides proudly along on the donkey!"

The Hodja momentarily halted the donkey. "Climb up here with me!" he said to his son.

A short distance later they came upon another party, who likewise expressed their opinion clearly. "Such animal abuse! Isn't that shameless, for a cleric to torment such a poor donkey! Couldn't the two of you use your own legs and give the donkey a little rest?"

The Hodja stopped once again. "Let's climb off!" he said to his son.

They both dismounted and walked along on foot beside the donkey. But they had not gone far when they came upon another group of people who also had something to say about them. They heaped ridicule upon them:

"Such a cheapskate! It's just like him to buy a donkey and is then too stingy to use the animal."

"He must be afraid that he will rub the fur off its body."

"Which of the three is the greatest donkey?"

"They just might as well carry the donkey home."

No sooner said than done! Nasreddin Hodja followed this advice.

As soon as the people had gone on their way he said to his son, "If you ever should come into the possession of a donkey, never trim its tail in the presence of other people. Some will say that you have cut off too much, and others that you have cut off too little. If you want to please everyone, in the end your donkey will have no tail at all."

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Mood: Confused
Quote of the day: “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” by- Bill Cosby
Song of the day: "Hot and Cold by- Katy Perry"